A Week of a Breakdown. What I Learned.

We all have bad days. Bad weeks. Bad things happen, can’t change that.

This was one of those weeks for me. I felt like I was losing it, quickly. Lack of sleep, stress and things creeping into my mind from my past since being triggered a few months back.

I was truly exhausted with a thickness of depression settling over me. It was plain awful. But when I looked inward I realized this was my cue to finally take a step, okay a Giant Step, of reaching out for help. I entered into therapy.

Since money is tight I went to the online option, Talkspace. Which so far has been quite helpful. To have a therapist with no connection to me, my family or anyone I know  that is there to listen and guide me is incredible. Knowing you need help is a great step, taking the initiative to get help is another.

Why am I sharing this? Because it’s a part of my journey as not only an artist but a person overall. Something I feel we all forget. We tend to put people in boxes with labels. It’s safe, easy and convenient. But it’s not always helpful. I don’t want to just be ‘an artist’ or an ‘animal lover’. I’m so much more than that. Being transparent about things makes me grow and hopefully helps others as well.

With a week of tears, confusion, discovery, guilt, exhaustion and everything else in between it’s been a somewhat humbling experience. I don’t want to go through it daily but I know I will go through it again, it’s just how things are when you open up. And that’s okay.

The desire to create has been a little difficult lately. With my schedule jumbled and my mind racing it’s hard to focus on my work. Be it drawing or the yucky business side, the drive to do it hasn’t been there. I went over this in my last post in case you wanted to take a peek.

Once I entered into therapy and started short mediation sessions on my own, I started to slowly see a shift. Not a major one but enough to acknowledge it. I was able to sit for a few hours the last couple of days with my elephant piece and work on it. I paused at times to collect my thoughts and relax. Telling myself it’s okay if it’s hard to focus, this made it a little easier to focus for longer periods of time.

Small but important.

It’s going to be a long road ahead but the journey will be worth it. If you have ever wondered about therapy, consider it. Starting with Talkspace is a great step. You don’t have to go anywhere, it’s doable as far as money goes, and it’s great way to feel safe. Don’t lock those things away, open them up with a professional. If I can do it, so can you 🙂

Elephant Piece:

I was able to get a lot done in the past few days after starting therapy, listening to myself, meditating and getting a good amount of sleep….finally 🙂

New Website Option:

Also, I added a New option to my website. Being able to purchase in progress works!