“My life has been nothing but a failure.”
For the past week I have been plagued by a fantastic inner ear infection Broke down on Friday to go to the ER. Now, I would like it to go away and for the pain to stop. It’s difficult to do something relaxing (like drawing) when a part of your body is in pain. That is something I think we can all relate to.
Have I done any art? Slightly. And I mean slightly. Drawing, check. Started on a 24×18 Safe Haven Rescue Zoo resident, Gage, a Siberian Tiger. As well as a 9×12 painting of a Canadian Lynx. I am still judging myself entirely to much when it comes to painting. I had a little ah-ha moment yesterday while noticing this judgement. I keep comparing myself to other artists.
My art book collection has well, spiked. I am a book lover and with the use of Amazon, I found a few books I have searching for at a good price. I have been reading these books for the past week and have been rather inspired (as usual) by their techniques, use of color and basic instructions. Out of the inspiration came judgement. Not by choice, just by chance. I noticed it and realized it and I was okay with it. It happens, why be upset by it?
Once that happened I knew it was time to step back and know that I am not suppose to paint a certain way at all. I am suppose to just paint like me. You will always grow as an artist, no need to stop it. Just let it happen.
I have The Gaze set up in my studio and look at it often. It has a special place in my heart. Why? Because I actually really like it. I kept my posture relaxed and my mind still. I didn’t rush. I looked at my inspiration wall of only inspiration and at my books for only direction. I remembered the tips I learned and put them to use when needed. It worked in my favor. Now to remember to do that again 🙂
All in all this week has been, different. Ups and downs, rest then awake, creative then nothing. Maybe this week will be more level. Regardless of what it holds, I can only go with the flow.