I’ll be the first to admit it, I am way to hard on myself when it comes to my art. That is especially true over the past few weeks. It’s seems that every other piece I attempt to do, doesn’t go right at all. Which causes me to think
“How on earth could you call yourself an artist, you can’t even paint this piece!”
Yikes. That is being rough on yourself. But in truth, it happens. The key is to recognize it is happening. That I have been doing, but after that whole recognize thing takes place, I revert to save. It starts all over again, I’m stuck. One realization I had last night was a good thing. I am realizing things that don’t work. Doesn’t matter if it’s colors, composition or the story I am trying to tell in a snap; I see that it won’t work. That’s a real plus in my eyes.
But then….I got over that and said:
“How many times does this have to happen before I can just have that ah-ha moment and paint what I really feel?”
It’s like I was letting myself see the good but come back with negative. Why? This was happening with a particular piece I am working on. I was trying something different as far as the start and finish are concerned. I stopped midstream and had all of these ups and downs so I stepped away. Talked with my boyfriend on it. He reminded me that it was a good sign, that ah-ha was probably around the corner, just don’t know when. And most of the artists that I really do love, are landscape painters and still life painters.
“What you do, as far as wildlife goes, is different from landscapes. Why don’t you look into more lessons on wildlife art?” (my boyfriend is so smart)
So, I did. I am grabbing information from all sides of the spectrum, but never started with the main piece. Wildlife! Grabbing information on anything from all artists is excellent. It’s needed. But, if you lean towards a subject why not study it more? I felt so silly but during all of this I was competing with myself.
Always telling yourself you should be doing better isn’t exactly encouraging. Letting go takes a lot more effort but it’s a lot more cleansing. Before I was telling myself to do this or that I was relaxed on Saturday, funny how things just switch. Suddenly I wanted more then I was giving. Why? I want to be able to paint the way I see but it’s kind of hard to do that when you are pushing yourself to be something different.
In closing; be kind to yourself. It’s that simple, but hard to get there. I may be going through a funk as far as painting goes but hey there is always drawing. Plus, I have been drawing a heck of a lot long then painting. Another small fact for myself 🙂